Everything Stays
by nicnac918
Summary: Ice King doesn't really know what's up with this lady that just up and moved into his castle, but he's pretty sure she's into him. S05xE48 "Betty" divergence


"What are you doing?"

Ice King got up off his seat and looked behind him to see a person ride a flying carpet in through his window. She – he thought it was a she, but it was hard to be sure with the cloak she as wearing – landed and looked around for a second before running over and grabbing one of Ice King's weights and using it to smash at the ice around Muscle Princess.

"What are _you_ doing? Do you have any idea how hard it is to capture a princess? I'm going to –" Ice King started to shoot ice from his hand to re-encase Muscle Princess and to grab the mystery woman too, but before he could, Muscle Princess grabbed him and pinned him down and started to punch him in the face.

"Wait, stop!" the mystery woman said, grabbing Muscle Princess's arm. "I know you're mad but I swear Simon isn't like this usually." Huh, how did the mystery woman know the super cool nickname Ice King's friends gave him?

"Of course he is," Muscle Princess said. "Ice King is always kidnapping princesses."

"I just want to find a princess to marry and fill the void in my life; is that so wrong?" Ice King asked.

"Yes. No princess is ever going to marry you Ice King," Muscle Princess said, shaking the mystery woman's hand off her arm and pulling back for another punch.

"No!" the mystery woman said, stepping so she was standing over Ice King and in between Muscle Princess's fist and Ice King's face. "Look, you're free now, so you can go and I'll take care of him, alright?"

Muscle Princess narrowed her eyes, then nodded once. "You did save me, so alright. But next time you kidnap me Ice King, I'm beating you up twice as hard."

"He's not going to kidnap anyone ever again, I promise," the mystery woman said. Muscle Princess frowned, but nodded again and left. Once she was gone, the mystery woman moved and turned around to offer Ice King a hand up.

"What did you mean, you're going to 'take care of me?'" Ice King asked suspiciously, standing up without her help. "Gasp. Are you a hitman come here to kill me?"

"What? No, Simon, it's me Betty, your –"

"You can't fool me hitman," Ice King said floating up in the air and calling his ice magic up to his hands. "I'm going to…" Ice King looked down at the mystery woman hitman. Her hands were on her hips and her head was tilted up toward him so he could see the light glinting of what was probably a pair of glasses and a few tendrils of red hair escaping from the depths of her hood. Ice King _couldn't_ attack her because, because, well, he couldn't attack her. But he couldn't let some mystery woman hitman come in here and kill him, or worse, keep him from getting himself a princess either. So he had to find a way to make her stop without actually attacking her… Oh, that was a good idea!

"Where are you going?" the mystery woman hitman demanded.

Ice King stopped his flight toward the window and turned back to look at her again. "I'm going to go get Finn and Jake. They'll make you stop being mean to me."

"Who are Finn and Jake?"

"Uh, duh. Finn the human and Jake the dog. My best bros," Ice King told her.

The mystery woman hitman cocked her head to the side. "You mean the little teenage boy that wears that bear head hat and the talking dog?"

"Yeah, and they're going to make you pay for trying to kill me," Ice King said.

"I'm not… Okay fine, that's probably a good idea. Go talk to Finn and Jake, and I'll be here when you get back," the mystery woman hitman said. Then she turned away and began murmuring to herself, "Now where was that other room, again?"

"You can't scare me with your threats," Ice King yelled at her. He didn't like it when she wasn't paying attention to him. Well he'd show her, he wasn't going to pay attention to her either.

"I'm not threating you!" the mystery woman hitman called after him as he flew off.

Like Ice King believed that. She as definitely some kind of hitman come to kill him. But he was going to get Finn and Jake and they were going to stop her and then Ice King would throw her in his cell and she wouldn't be able to kill him and she would have to stay there with him forever. Yeah, that was a good idea. Ice King quickly made his way to the treehouse, and luckily Finn and Jake were already there hanging out outside. "Buddies, come quick; I need your help!"

"Why should we help you, Ice King?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, we're heroes; we aren't going to help you with any of your no good schemes," Finn agreed.

"No guys, there's a crazy mystery woman hitman back at my castle who wants to kill me. She broke in on her flying carpet and set Muscle Princess, who I had captured fair and square, free and then told her that she was going to 'take care of me' and make sure I 'never kidnapped any princesses ever again.' And then Betty –"

"Wait a second, Betty? Dude, I think he's talking about Betty. Like, you know, _Betty_ Betty," Finn said to Jake.

"Betty's dead," Jake said.

"Disappeared doesn't always mean dead," Finn pointed out.

"Ehhh, you're right," Jake said, then turned back to Ice King. "Are you talking about Betty Betty? With red hair and glasses?"

Ice King scratched the back of his head. "Well I didn't really get a good look at her face, but I think so? Why do you two know her?" Ice King gasped. "Did you two hire a hitman to kill me? And after I saved you both from that other hitman last time."

"You're the one who hired him to kill us in the first place!" Jake said. Oh that's right, he had, hadn't he? "Whatever, I'm not getting any more involved in your love life, Ice King. You and your lady can work out your problems yourself." Then he stormed off back inside.

"My lady?" Ice King echoed.

"Yeah man, Betty's, like, your girlfriend or something. She's probably not trying to kill you," Finn said. "But she probably _is_ pretty mad at you if you're still trying to kidnap princesses to marry; that's messed up. I mean, kidnapping princesses is already messed up, but doing it in front of your girlfriend is really messed up, you know?"

"You think she was jealous?" Ice King asked.

"Probably?" Finn said and shrugged. "I don't know, I don't think I really get girls."

"I'll bet she was totally jealous!" Ice King said. "She managed to snag herself a silver fox and then she thought I was going to leave her high and dry. And when she said she was going to 'take care of me…'"

"Annnd I'm done with this conversation," Finn said, turning to go back in the treehouse as well. "Good luck making up with Betty!" he called over his shoulder. "Don't go kidnapping any more princesses."

Of course he wasn't going to kidnap any more princesses. Why would he spend all that time trying to capture a princess when he already had a lady waiting for him at home? No, he was going to get back as fast as he could and let _his lady_ 'take care of him.' Oh, but he should probably apologize for making her mad first. Yeah, that was a good idea.

Except when he got back home, Betty wasn't there. "Gunter!" Ice King yelled, then crossed his arms and glared at him when he waddled into the room. "What happened to Betty? I finally get a woman to come here of her own free will, and you let her get away? I'm very disappointed in you."

"Wenk wenk. Wenk wenk wenk," Gunter said.

"What are you talking about; we don't have a library," said Ice King.

"Wenkwenk wenk."

"I think I'd remember a library, Gunter," Ice King argued.

"Wenk!" Gunter said, turning and walking off.

Ice King obligingly followed. "Okay, but when we don't find any library, you better admit you were wrong, and then help me go track Betty down." Gunter led Ice King deep, deep into the castle, until they got all the way down to the The Past Room. "This isn't a library. And I don't see any Betty either," Ice King said.

"Wenkwenk," Gunter said, pointing to a huge hole in the wall that Ice King didn't remember. He went and looked through it and, what do you know, he did have a library. And sitting at the table on the lower floor with her cloak draped over the chair behind her and a stack of books on the table in front of her was Betty.

Ice King flew down to the first floor and landed next to Betty's table. "I'm sorry I made you mad," he said, shuffling his feet a little.

Betty looked up at him, and Ice King felt like he'd been hit with a sack of bricks. Betty was _beautiful_ , the most beautiful lady Ice King had ever seen in his life, more beautiful than all the princesses put together. "It's alright. But no more holding people prisoner, okay?"

"Whatever you say, princess," Ice King agreed. "Are you a princess? You look like a princess."

"I've been called that before," Betty said, smiling at him. Wowza, Betty looked extra beautiful when she smiled, she should smile all the time. And laugh, Ice King bet she had a really great laugh. "Did Finn and Jake explain things to you at all?"

"They said that you were my lady," Ice King said.

Betty looked amused by that. "Well, I guess you did put a ring on it," she said, reaching inside her sweater and pulling out a necklace with a diamond ring on it.

"We're married?" Ice King exclaimed. How had he gotten married without even realizing it? Oh no, he'd completely forgotten their anniversary!

"Engaged," Betty corrected. Whew, that was a relief. Except that it meant that they weren't married yet. And it meant that Betty could still change her mind. Unless…

"That's not a cursed ring to force you to want to marry me, is it?" Ice King asked.

"Do you make a habit of handing those out?" Betty asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No, just the once," Ice King told her. After the last time when he accidentally married Jake, he decided it wasn't worth it.

"Oh," Betty said, and her expression looked really weird when she said it. "Well, this one isn't." She took her necklace off and held it out to Ice King, but he didn't want to take it. Because what if it was a cursed ring and when he took it she changed her mind and ran away?

But Betty just put the ring on the table instead, looked him in the eye, and said, "I still want to marry you." Then she put the necklace back on and tucked it back in her shirt.

Well, well, well, things were finally looking up for Ice King. "Alright, let's get married. How's tomorrow look for you?" he asked. Things might be looking up, but he definitely needed to get Betty locked in before she changed her mind.

"You can't plan a wedding in a day," Betty said.

"Sooo… day after tomorrow?"

Betty pursed her lips. "If it's really that important to you, we can get married sooner rather than later. But Simon, I'm planning on fixing your crown for you, and I think once it's fixed, you're going to want us to have waited until after. And that's what I want to; that's what's important to me."

"You're making me a surprise wedding gift?" Ice King said. No one ever gave him gifts.

"It's not really a surprise," Betty said. "But I guess you could call it a wedding gift."

"Oh goody, a surprise!" Ice King said. "Okay, we can wait until after you finish to get married. But you have to stay here while you're working on it."

Betty blinked at him a couple of times, looking surprised and a little confused. "Of course I'm going to live here; where else would I go?"

"I don't know," Ice King said, kicking his foot. "All the other princesses all seem to find somewhere they'd rather be."

"Well good," Betty said firmly. "I don't want a whole bunch of princesses hanging around here. They'd only get in the way." Then she turned back and looked at her books some more.

Finn was totally right; Betty was jealous! Well, they couldn't have that. From this moment forward, Betty was going to be the only lady for Ice King.

* * *

When Ice King woke up in the middle of the night, there someone in bed with him. At first he thought it was Gunter, wanting to snuggle up with his daddy, but whoever it was was way too big to be Gunter. Ice King squinted as his eyes slowly adjusted to being awake, then nearly let out a squawk of surprise when he realized who it was. Luckily he was able to cover his mouth just in time to avoid waking her.

 _Betty_. His princess. She was here in Ice King's bed, probably of her own free will. He remembered telling Gunter to watch and make sure she didn't run away when it looked like she was going stay up way past Ice King's bedtime working on her surprise, but he didn't think he had asked Gunter to knock her unconscious and put her in his bed, and he was almost positive that he hadn't done it himself. Which meant that when Betty had been done working, she had come up to Ice King's room, gotten into his bed, and gone to sleep beside him. Just because she wanted to. Ice King giggled with glee – _quietly_.

But then they were engaged. And engaged people slept in the same bed all the time, probably. Ice King was pretty sure they did anyway. And another thing that engaged people did was cuddle. Which meant it would be totally okay if Ice King came up and pressed his chest against Betty's back and wrapped his arm around her and –

Betty stirred. "Simon, stop it. You know I don't like to cuddle when I'm sleeping."

"I do? I don't remember knowing that," Ice King said. Of course, he didn't remember proposing to Betty either, but he wasn't going to argue that that hadn't happened.

"Oh. Right." Betty sounded so disappointed when she said that, like maybe she thought he was someone else. Like some guy whose actual name was Simon, not just his cool nickname that his friends gave him, and who had probably been the one who actually proposed to her. Well butts to that guy; Betty was Ice King's princess now, and that other Simon couldn't have her!

"Hey, what are you doing? Let go," Betty demanded as Ice King tried to pull her in tighter.

"No, you can't leave!" Ice King said.

Betty stopped struggling, then took a deep breath in and out. "It's okay. I'm not going to leave you."

"You promise?"

"I promise," Betty said.

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

"You super double –"

"Let go of me, _now_ ," Betty said, her voice going all stern.

"Yeesh, okay, you don't have to get mad about it," Ice King said, letting go of her. He got ready to grab her all over again when she started to move, but she only turned over so she was on her side facing him. She held out one hand to him, and Ice King looked at it for a moment before slowly reaching up to hold it with his own.

Betty flinched. "What, did I do something wrong?" Ice King asked.

"No. Your hand is just really cold. They used to be… I was just surprised. But it's fine," Betty said and she tightened her grip.

Ice King grabbed onto Betty's hand with his other hand too, then pulled it in close to his chest and curled up around it a little bit. Betty smiled at him. "See? Now go back to sleep," she said, closing her eyes.

"Okay," Ice King agreed. But he didn't go to sleep. Instead he stayed for as long as he could, just watching his princess sleep and holding her hand.

* * *

When Ice King woke up, he felt like something was missing. But he felt like that most of the time, especially on the mornings after he had the dreams he never remembered, and today didn't feel like a day to cry about his total and crushing loneliness, so he ignored it. But then he heard the most beautiful sound in the world.

"Oh, I think I see what you mean now. Sorry, I've never been that good at charades." It was Betty, Ice King's princess, his fiancée. She was still here.

Ice King jumped out of bed and raced toward Betty, following the sound of her voice. "That would really open the space up, but I think we should wait until after Simon gets up. Cleaning is one thing, but I really ought to talk to Simon before we start moving furniture around."

Ice King stopped in the doorway watching as a confused Betty addressed Gunter who was shaking his head at her. "No? No what: no, that's not what you meant, or no, we don't need to ask Simon first?"

"Wenk wenk wenk," Gunter said.

"That's enough out of you," Ice King interrupted before Gunter could say anything else completely embarrassing about him.

Betty and turned and smiled when she saw Ice King. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."

"You think I'm beautiful?" Ice King asked. It wasn't as good as being handsome, but he would take it. Betty laughed, which Ice King was going to take as a yes, so he opened his arms and said, "Can I get a good morning hug?"

"You don't have to ask me for a hug," Betty said, coming over and giving him one. Ice King wrapped his arms around her and his princess fit perfectly, like that's where she was supposed to be, like she was exactly what Ice King's arms were meant to be holding.

It was so perfect that Ice King decided to go in for a kiss, _and Betty kissed him back_. She didn't smack him, or push him away, or put her hand over his mouth, or say "no" or "not like that" or "get away from me you crazy old man;" she actually kissed him back. Sure it was a short kiss, but it was still a kiss from a beautiful and real lady. Betty was the best girlfriend that Ice King had ever had.

"While you've been sleeping, the penguins and I have been cleaning up all the mess around here," Betty said. "These penguins of yours are incredibly intelligent, by the way. Did you breed them like that deliberately or –?"

"Wenkwenkwenkwenkwenk, wenk wenk,"" Gunter said.

"Gunter! You can't use language like that in front of a lady," Ice King said.

"Wenk, wenkwenk," Gunter said, pointing at Betty.

"Yes, I heard her; she called you smart. It's a _compliment_ , Gunter," Ice King told him.

"I'm not really sure what I said, but I'm sorry if I offended you," Betty added.

Gunter looked her up and down, said, "Wenk," and then walked away.

"He forgives you," Ice King said. "Probably."

"Good," Betty said. "I do like the penguins. They've been very helpful." That was a relief. If it came to a choice between Betty and Gunter, well Gunter knew how that would go down, but Ice King would rather not have to. He loved Gunter, just not enough to pick him oer a pretty lady. Especially Betty.

Just then Gunterina came in from the other room carrying something that it took Ice King a minute to recognize. "Hey, who said you were allowed in the The Past Room?"

"Wenk wenk wenk wenk," Gunterina said, walking over to Betty and offering her the book.

"That's a great idea!" Chicks dug guys with tragic backstories and Ice King's was a dozy. Maybe.

"This is for me?" Betty asked, taking it from Gunterina and looking at it. "Oh. This is…" Betty closed her eyes for a second, then opened at them and gave Gunterina a kind of teary smile. "Thank you for getting this for me. Really."

"Wenk," Gunterina said, patting Betty on the hand with her flipper a few times. Then she left, chasing the few other penguins milling about out with her.

Betty was still looking at the book, running a hand over the cover reverently. Then she opened it up and slowly began flipping through the pages, still smiling a little. "You know, I always used to think you were being silly, getting these photos printed and sticking them in an album when we already had them all and more on the computer where they weren't taking up shelf space. But it's a thousand years later and who knows what's happened to our old laptops, but these pictures are still right here." Betty frowned a little and brushed at the page. "Huh, it looks like a little frost got in here."

"Oh, those are probably just frozen tears," Ice King told her. Betty's head shot up and she looked at him for a minute before grabbing him by the back of the head and pulling him in to kiss him, _hard_.

Wow. Betty must _really_ dig guys with tragic backstories.

* * *

"Simon!"

Ice King turned just in time to see Marceline flying in through the window. She grabbed him around the middle and hugged him, spinning him around and laughing a little. "Why didn't you tell me, you jerk?" she asked once she set him back down.

"Tell you what?" Ice King asked.

"That Betty was still alive and here. We all thought she died saving you from Bella Noche," Marceline said. "I had to find out from Finn and Jake. Jerk." She smacked him on the arm, but she was still smiling when she did it. Marceline was weird sometimes.

"You know Betty? Betty, why didn't you tell me you know Marceline?" Ice King called.

"I didn't know I knew Marceline," Betty answered, coming into the room. "Oh, you were the other person in the room when Simon brought me here."

"Yeah, I was helping him with that," Marceline said, ducking her head a bit like she was embarrassed or something. Weird. "It's good to finally actually meet you; Simon's told me a lot about you."

"I did? When?" Ice King said. He didn't remember telling anyone about Betty. He didn't even remember knowing about Betty to tell anyone before.

"Back when we first met right after the Mushroom War, around a thousand years ago," Marceline told.

"Wow we've known each other for that long?" Ice King said. He felt like he'd always known Marceline, but a thousand years, that was a long time.

"You look pretty good for being over one thousand," Betty said, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, I'm a lot older than I look. Vampire," Marceline said, pushing her hair back to show off her bite marks. "983 years older, in fact."

"Oh," Betty said. Then her eyes widened and she repeated herself. " _Oh_."

"Yeah," Marceline said. "But Simon took really good care of me, you know? So if you need any help trying to fix his crown, let me know. I owe him one."

"Marceline, you know about the surprise Betty is working on?" Ice King said.

"I don't…" Marceline started to say, but Betty interrupted.

"Yes she does. I mentioned it to her when I first got here."

"Oh, _that_ surprise," Marceline said. "Yeah, I know about it. It's something that you've wanted for a really long time, and maybe now Betty can get it for you. You're going to love it."

"Of course I'm going to love it, if my princess and my best pal Marceline think it's good," Ice King said. "I mean, you guys are my two favorite girls." He must have said something pretty good because he got a hug from Marceline and a kiss from Betty. He wasn't sure what he had said that had been so great, but he was definitely going to have to say it again.

* * *

Ice King couldn't tell if Betty really liked his crown, or if she hated it. On the one hand, she was always asking to borrow it and poking at it and looking at it – Ice King was trying not to spoil the surprise, but he was pretty sure his wedding gift had something to do with his crown. Maybe Betty was trying to bling it out or something. But on the other hand, she always seemed happier if he wasn't wearing it, even when she wasn't working on it. A lot of times Ice King saw her looking up at it one his head and frowning, and when they kissed or cuddled, she would knock it off.

It was all really confusing. But a lot of things about Betty were confusing. Ice King just didn't question it because he didn't want to jinx it.

* * *

"25, 26, 27…" Ice King counted off as he did arm curls. He'd been trying to work out more since Betty had showed up, so he could impress her with his totally hot bod. Wait a second, footsteps – here she came now. "100, 101, 102."

"You actually use that stuff now?" Betty asked, looking amused. Then she frowned and walked over closer to him, looking at him really closely. "Lift up your shirt for a minute."

"I can just take it off if you want, princess," Ice King said, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Man, this working out thing was really working. Finally.

Betty ignored that in favor of grabbing his shirt by the hem and lifting it up herself. "Oh, Simon," she said, and when she put his shirt back down there were tears in her eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Ice King asked. He didn't like seeing Betty cry at all.

"Yes," Betty said. She grabbed his hand and started dragging him off. "We're putting you on a diet."

"Is this about the last two pounds I can't lose?" Ice King asked.

"Not that kind of diet," Betty told him. She pushed him down in the chair at the kitchen table, then went to the fridge and grabbed out an orange and put it down in front of him. "Eat that while I make you something more filling. Well probably not too filling… I don't want it to disagree with you."

"You want me to gain weight?" Ice King narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you some kind of chubby chaser?" he asked while peeling his orange. If that's what his princess wanted…

Betty set the food she had been pulling out down on the counter and turned around to look at him. "This isn't about anyone being chubby. How skinny you are now isn't _healthy_."

"Psch, I feel fine," Ice King told her.

"Well if that crown has kept you alive for over a thousand years, it probably could keep you going even in the state you're in now. But it still isn't healthy. Let's just get you to the point that I can't count your ribs anymore, okay?"

"This is really important to you, huh?" Ice King said.

"Really important," Betty agreed. So Ice King obediently popped an orange slice in his mouth, and Betty smiled at him before going back to putting together food.

Ha. Betty was totally a chubby chaser.

* * *

Betty was always working down in the library, whenever she wasn't hanging out with Ice King. It made it really easy for Ice King to know where to look for her when he was bored or lonely. Sometimes she would let him sit down next to her and she would show him at she was working on. Betty was so smart, the smartest person Ice King knew, but she was really good at explaining things so a lot of times Ice King even felt like he almost understood it. That seemed to make Betty really happy when he did.

But other times she was too busy and she would ignore him to work on her stuff until he left. But this time Ice King was prepared. When he came down to the library he had his notebook and his pen and when he sat down at the table across from Betty he didn't try to bug her at all, he just started doing his on stuff. That way even when they weren't doing stuff together, they were still doing things together.

He had been writing for a few minutes when Betty looked up from her stuff and asked, "What are you working on?"

"This is my latest Fionna and Cake fanfiction," Ice King said.

"You're still writing fanfiction?" Betty said. "Can I hear it?"

"You want to hear my fanfiction?" Ice King said. No one ever asked to listen to his fanfiction. Gunter and his pals liked listening to story time, and he was pretty sure Wildberry Princess liked them too even though she pretended like she didn't, but Ice King allways had to make them come listen first. No one ever asked.

"That's what I said," Betty said.

"Okay. But you should know this isn't my best work; I'm still on the first draft of this one." Ice King cleared his throat and neatened his papers, then he began to read. He got through everything he'd written and Betty didn't stop him or complain even once. Then when he was done he looked back up at her. "So what did you think?"

Betty laughed. "Simon, that was terrible. I loved it."

"You did?"

"It's a very creative idea, switching everyone's genders around. And your writing has actually gotten better, I think," Betty said.

"Really?" Ice King asked excitedly. "You know I'm thinking of adding a new character; Benny."

Betty grinned at him. "I can't wait to hear it."

* * *

"What are you guys doing here? I haven't done anything wrong recently," Ice King said, looking in confusion at Finn and Jake standing on his doorstep.

"Simon, do we have guests?" Betty called.

"It's Finn and Jake," Ice King called, and then turned back around and gave them a suspicious look. "You can't take my princess from me. I didn't kidnap her; she's here because she wants to be."

"Dude we know that. We're the ones that told you she was your lady," Jake said.

"Oh yeah. So why are you here then?" Ice King asked.

"Betty called –"

Finn jabbed Jake with his elbow. "We're here to hang out with you. See, we even brought our instruments so we could all have a jam session together," Finn said, holding up a flute and a balloon, while Jake showed off his viola.

"You guys want to hang out with me? For realsies?" Ice King asked.

"Yeah, it was definitely totally our own idea and we're here completely by choice," Jake said.

"Well, isn't that nice?" Betty said, coming up behind Ice King and placing her hand on his shoulder. "Unfortunately I have some very important work to do and that absolutely can't be interrupted. Can you keep our guest entertained for me, Simon?"

"I can totally do that! Don't worry I'll keep them from bothering you." Ice King got to help his princess out by hanging with his pals? Today was awesome.

"Thank you," Betty said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "You boys have fun."

"Hey Betty?" Finn called. "I know you have to work on stuff for the Ice Kings crown right now, but do you think we could hang out afterwards? Because before you got here I was the last human, well except for maybe Simon sometimes – "

"Yeah, and I still have questions about Susan Strong," Jake added.

"Right, so anyway I thought we could spend some time together and talk about human junk or whatever sometimes," Finn said.

"Oh," Betty said. "Well I don't know if I really know what constitutes human stuff, but why don't the two of you stay for dinner? I should be done by then and we can talk about whatever you like. We can even make a regular thing of it, if that's okay with you Simon?"

"I'm always down to hang out with my pals," Ice King told her.

"Man, does this mean we're going to have to hang out with Ice King all the time?" Jake said. "You're lucky you're my brother, Finn."

Betty cleared her throat and glared at Jake. "Sorry, Ice King," Jake said.

"For what?" Ice King asked.

"Don't worry about it, love," Betty told him, so Ice King didn't. "I'll see you all later."

"Okay, see you later Betty!" Finn called as Betty left.

Ice King gave Finn a look. "You aren't trying to steal my princess, are you? Just because you blew it with Flame Princess doesn't mean you can come in here and try and steal mine. Not cool, bro."

"What? No, of course not!" Finn objected. "Plus Betty's like old enough to be my mom. I think. How old is Betty?"

"Thirty-six," Ice King answered automatically, then frowned. "How do I know that?"

"She's your fiancée, of course you know how old she is," Jake said. "Just like I know Lady is eight, which in rainicorn years is twenty-nine years old. Or maybe it's thirty-seven? Something like that."

"See, I don't want to date someone who could basically be my mom. Wait, could Betty be my mom?" Finn asked, turning to look at Jake.

"No way dude, she's from the past, remember? That wouldn't make no sense."

"A lot of things don't make no sense!" Finn exclaimed.

"Preach," Ice King agreed. "Nothing makes sense to me."

"Pretty sure we all already knew that," Jake said. "But anyway, there's no way Betty's your mom, Finn. I mean, she would have said something if she was."

"Oh, you're right, Betty's a pretty chill lady. She definitely would have mentioned it. But even if she's not my mom, I'm not going to try and date her. I wouldn't do that to you, bro," Finn said, putting a hand on Ice King's shoulder. "Like you said, not cool."

"Well if that's all sorted out, I was promised a jam session," Jake said, holding his viola up.

"Yeah, come on, my music stuff is through this way," Ice King said, leading the way for his friends.

* * *

One of the things that Ice King loved about Betty… well Ice King loved everything about Betty. But one of the best things about her is that she was always giving him kisses. She didn't really hug or cuddle unless he started it, but she was always giving him kisses. Quick kisses on the cheek or on the forehead. She also sometimes gave him quick kisses on the mouth but not as much because "your nose can be kind of hard to work around, Simon." Then there were times when Ice King would do something – he didn't know what, or else he'd be doing it all the time, but she definitely started doing it more after he put some weight on – and Betty would kiss him hard and even hungry, and then Ice King was allowed to touch her wherever he wanted to, and that always ended well.

But Ice King's favorite kisses were the ones where Betty would kiss him long and slow and it felt like she as saying "you're the best, Ice King" and "you're so cool and handsome" and "I'm happy staying with you" and "you make me happy" and "I love being here" and "I love you."

"You're a really good kisser," Ice King told her after the first time she kissed him like that.

"Good, because I love kissing you," Betty said, and she kissed him again.

* * *

Princess Bubblegum sighed heavily and gave him a look like she just ate something sour. Of course, that's how she always looked when she saw him, but this time it didn't bother him at all. Well, maybe a little bit. "What do you want Ice King? I'm kind of busy right now."

"See, I told you we should have used the front door," Betty said from where she was perched on his back.

"And I told you, princess, that the Banana Guard won't let me in through the front door," Ice King replied, landing on the floor of Princess Bubblegum's study and setting Betty down.

"I was hoping you would take the hint," Princess Bubblegum muttered. Then she turned to Betty, smiled and said, "Hi, I'm Princess Bubblegum. Welcome to the Candy Kingdom. You must be Betty; Finn and Jake told me about you."

"Yes, they mentioned you too. It's nice to meet you," Betty said.

It seemed like it was going alright, but just to be sure, Ice King leaned over toward Princess Bubblegum and said in an undertone, "Hey Princess Bubblegum, let's not make this weird, okay?"

"What just because you brought Betty from the past with a method that fits the conventional definition of time travel much more closely than anything I could invent? Why would I make that weird?" Princess Bubblegum said, and she sure _sounded_ weird.

"What? No, I was talking about how we used to date," Ice King said.

Princess Bubblegum rolled her eyes, "We never dated, Ice King."

Well that was just hurtful. But that just showed why Ice King had broken up with Princess Bubblegum and gotten together with Betty instead. He reached out for her hand and Betty laced their fingers together and squeezed.

"If you're interested in time travel, I worked with Simon on a lot of that research. Obviously I wasn't involved in the practical application of it, except as a subject so to speak, but I do have a good grasp of the theory," Betty said. "I'd be happy to share, especially as I was hoping to get your help on some things as well."

"Betty's making me a surprise gift for our wedding," Ice King explained. "But she got stuck on the science-y stuff and since you like that junk and you're the second smartest person I know, I thought you'd be perfect to help."

" _Second_ smartest?" Princess Bubblegum objected.

"Oh, he's just being sweet," Betty said and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Ice King said, smiling back at her. Princess Bubblegum cleared her throat. Ha, she was so jealous.

"Simon's right, though it's really more the magic side I need help with. I've spent a fair amount of time studying it during my own time period, but I'm not used to being real."

"Ugh, magic isn't real. It's all just science. Sometimes it's science that we don't have an explanation for yet, but it's still science," Princess Bubblegum said.

"Oh yeah, then how do you explain this?" Ice King asked, shooting some ice with his free hand.

"If it's really just science, then that has to be a type of cryokinesis, doesn't it?" Betty said.

"Yes, on the ambient water vapor, that's it exactly!" Princess Bubblegum said.

"That would explain why you said it's difficult to impossible to create ice while at high temperatures, Simon," Betty said. "But the amount of ice that I've seen you produce at times seems way out of proportion with what I'd expect the amount of water vapor in the air to be."

"I actually have a couple of theories about regarding that. I'd love to get your take on them, since you've worked so closely with the Ice King," Princess Bubblegum said. "But we can get to that later; what was it that you were wanting help with?"

"Wait, don't say it while I'm here, I don't want to spoil the surprise," Ice King said. "I'll just fly home and be back later to pick you up, Betty."

"Oh. I was actually hoping we could borrow your crown for a bit," Betty said.

"Sure thing," said Ice King, taking off his crown and handing it to Betty. Whatever his princess wanted she got. "Wait, that means that I have to walk all the way home. That donks."

"Well that treehouse we passed on the way over is Finn and Jake's place, right? Why don't you see if you can hang out with them for a while? That's not too far too walk."

"Actually," Princess Bubblegum said hesitantly. "Lady Rainicorn just left a few minutes ago and she said she was going to stop by to see Jake before going home. If you hurry you might be able to catch her before she leaves. Peppermint Butler!"

"Yes, milady?" Peppermint Butler said when he came running in a few seconds later.

"Do you know if Lady's left yet?"

"I believe she's still in the kitchen getting some snacks to take to Finn and Jake's."

"Perfect. Ice King was planning on heading over that way as well while his fiancée and I do some work on his crown. Escort our guest to the kitchen and see if Lady would be willing to give him a lift. Oh, and tell the Banana Guards they can let him back in when he comes to pick Betty up," Princess Bubblegum said.

"I… Are you sure milady?"

"Of course I'm sure Pepbut," Princess Bubblegum said dismissively. "C'mon Betty, if we want to get any real work done, we'll need to go to my lab. It's through this way."

"Great!" Betty gave Ice King a quick kiss and said, "I'll see you later, Simon," then chased after Princess Bubblegum already throwing all kinds of smart and science sounding questions at her.

"Is it just me, or are those two kind of alike?" Ice King asked. Of course, Betty was way nicer and smarter and prettier than any of the other princesses, even Princess Bubblegum, but still.

"Imagine that," Peppermint Butler said, rolling his eyes. "Come on Ice King, this way."

Huh. Weird.

* * *

Betty was looking really mad, madder than Ice King had ever seen her look before. It was super hot, and it really made him want to kiss her. Of course, since she was mad at him, she probably wouldn't want to kiss him back. And Betty always kissed him back, so Ice King didn't think he could take the rejection; he was out of practice with it. Plus, if he wanted a kiss he'd have to go into the prison cell with Betty, and the last time he'd done that, all his princesses had escaped. Nope, better not risk it. He could get a kiss later when Betty wasn't so mad.

"Simon Petrikov you let me out of here right now!" Betty demanded, hands on her hips and her eyes blazing with anger.

"Stop calling me that; it's not my name! I'm the Ice King," he yelled back. He mostly didn't mind when Betty called him Simon, since it was his nickname, but sometimes he got worried that she was talking about some other Simon guy and he didn't like that. No one was allowed to take his princess away.

"Right now I don't care what you call yourself, just let me out of this cell or so help me I'll…"

"Leave me again?" Ice King said. "Well you can't. Because I'm keeping you in here no matter how long it takes for you to change your mind about ditching me for this Simon guy and leaving me all alone again, forever. All by myself with no one to love or kiss or talk to or watch stupid movies with or-"

Betty sighed. "Oh, love. Come here."

"You're not going to trick me into getting into that cell with you. I know how that plays out; this ain't my first rodeo, sister." Ice King said.

"No, just come here," Betty said standing near the bars far away from the door and pointing to the ground on the other side of them.

Well, if she didn't actually want him to open the door or anything it was probably okay. Plus she didn't really look that mad anymore, so Ice King went and stood where she was pointing. Betty reached through the bars and wiped her fingers under his eyes, like she thought he was crying or something. Which was crazy; Ice King didn't cry. Not in front of other people. Usually. Okay, so maybe he had been crying just a little bit.

After she was done wiping away his tears – which didn't take very long because there had only been one or two, three tops – she reached behind his head and pulled until his forehead was resting against the bars, then rested her own forehead opposite his. "Now you listen to me. There is no one else in this entire universe for me but you, Ice King Simon Petrikov. The only reason I would ever leave you is to avoid a time paradox. And you know it was kind of a frantic situation and I had to make a split second decision. But even then I would travel across a thousand years of time and space to be right here where you are again. And you are never getting rid of me even if you try."

"But why would I try to get rid of you? I'm not that stupid."

"You aren't stupid at all," Betty said. "Even if you do stupid things sometimes like locking me up in a cage."

"Oh, right." Ice King walked over to the door and unlocked it, but held it closed still. "You promise you aren't going to leave?"

"I'm with you. Come hell or high water, princesses or penguins, stupid fights or gross underwear – seriously Simon, I don't care if you want to wear that robe all the time now, but we really need to get you some different underwear – come successes or…" Betty bit her lip and glanced up at his crown, "or failures. I'm with you. Okay?"

"Okay," Ice King said. He opened the door and Betty stepped out and smiled at him.

"Good. Because I was not looking forward to trying to squeeze between those bars. Now come on, let's go watch some of those educational videos Princess Bubblegum made for me about the science of magic," Betty said.

"Aw, but those videos are boring as butts. I know! Let's watch a horror movie and I can hold you when it gets too scary," Ice King said.

"You're the one who gets scared by those movies, not me," Betty said.

"Well you can hold me then! It's perfect!"

"No, we're going to watch the 'boring' videos I want to watch because you locked me in a cage. That's not okay," Betty said, and somehow Ice King had gotten her mad all over again.

"But you aren't leaving, right?"

Betty grabbed his hand and held it tight as she started walking to the living room. "Where would I go without you?"

* * *

Ice King set the stuff Betty asked him to get from Wizard City down on her table in the library then went to look for her since she wasn't down there working like she usually was. He found Gunter first, and Gunter told him that Betty was up in the living room with Marceline.

Marceline came over all the time now. Sometimes just to hang out with Betty or to help her out with Ice King's surprise, but other times she'd keep Ice King company while Betty was working. But what Ice King liked best was when all three of them, him, his Betty and Marcy, all spent time together. That felt really right to him.

Ice King peered in through doorway to living room – he didn't want to interrupt if they were working on his surprise, or having girl talk. Where he was standing was kind of a weird angle to be spying on them from, but Ice King had had a lot of practice at spying on people from weird angles, so it wasn't a problem. Betty was sitting on the couch and Marceline was on the floor in front of her, getting her hair brushed.

"He was always so excited about the idea of having kids. He wanted a boy and a girl, with both our brains, 'and all of your good looks, Betty.' And I told him in that case they better have his talent with music. Of course, your singing voice is much nicer than either of ours."

"Thanks," Marceline said, ducking her head a little bit.

"You're welcome," Betty said. "So maybe it's selfish of me, but I'm glad you were there with him; I think it must have made him happy to be able to take care of you. Not to mention, he doesn't do to well on his own."

"But I did leave him on his own!" Marceline shouted. "I should have fought harder when he said he was leaving. I shouldn't have started avoiding him after he went crazy. Maybe if I had been there –"

"Hey, no," Betty said, leaning forward to look Marceline in the eye. "I said I was being selfish, didn't I? You were just a little girl; none of this is your fault. You got that?"

Marceline turned around and climbed right up into Betty's lap and wrapped her arms around Betty's neck and started crying.

"Whoa, okay," Betty said, hugging Marceline back. "Hey, it's okay; everything is going to be okay, I promise."

Wow, Marceline was really upset over whoever that guy was. Her dad, maybe? Must have been some jerk to make her cry like that. Maybe Ice King should do something to cheer her up. Oh, like get her some soup. Yeah, a nice hot bowl of soup, that was just the thing to make little Marcy feel better.

* * *

"I'm not leaving you," Betty said.

"Okay," Ice King agreed. He never wanted Betty to leave ever.

"That being said, I do need to go out and do some field work. I've hit a bit of a wall even with the help from Princess Bubblegum and I think what I really need is to get a better feel for how different magic users actually work, particularly if there are any wish magic users out there. I'd probably need to be gone for a couple of weeks," Betty told him. "But I promise I would come back."

Ice King didn't like that at all. He needed Betty with him always. Things were better with Betty around, he was better with Betty around. Maybe if he threw her in the cage? No that hadn't worked out too well the last time. Oh, he knew. "I'll come with you." That way Betty could go do what she wanted to do and Ice King could stay with her and keep an eye on her and make sure she was safe and she came back.

"Can you? I know you don't have any subjects that it would cause problems for if you were gone for a few weeks, but would there be any issues with the ice melting if you were gone for that long?" Betty asked.

"It wouldn't be the first time the Ice Kingdom melted," Ice King said. "Or I could fly back here every once in a while to make sure things were holding up."

"That would be great," Betty said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"You mean you actually want me to come?" Ice King asked.

"Of course I want you to come; I just didn't want to ask because I didn't know if it was realistic," Betty said. "But, from a purely practical perspective, having you there will be a great help, because you know a lot more about Ooo and the magic users here. Besides," she added with a smile, "I would miss you if we had to be apart that long."

* * *

Betty was going to be so surprised. She had gone down to the library really early that morning talking about how she had made a breakthrough and how she was going to have it soon now. And about time; it had been months since Betty first got here and that was a really long time to wait for a wedding present, if you asked him. Ice King had waited all day, but Betty hadn't come up to tell him that she was done, or for food or anything, so Ice King had made up her favorite dinner and sent Gunter to the Candy Kingdom to get a chocolate cheesecake from the bakery she liked and now he was going to take it down to the library for her so she could eat it without having to leave her work. It was so nice, she had to give him one of his favorite kind of kisses for it.

"Oh Betty, I brought something for you," Ice King called, then frowned when she didn't answer. She must be really into her work. "Princess?" Ice King walked up to the railing of the balcony and froze, dropping the tray he was carrying to the ground. Betty wasn't sitting at her table, and all her papers had been thrown to the ground along with the Ice King's crown, and her science doo-ads were all shattered and broken. Someone had broken into Ice King's home and stolen his princess and he was going to-

Oh wait no, there she was, sitting all scrunched up with her back against the wall on the floor over there. Wow, good thing he had seen her before he went out and like killed anyone for kidnapping her. That would have gotten him in big trouble.

Ice King came down the ladder and walked over to Betty. "What are you doing on the ground over there? Is it some kind of smart people thinking thing?"

"Leave me alone," Betty said and she was _crying_. Well nuts to that; he'd left her alone all day, that was probably why she was crying in the first place.

"What's wrong, princess?"

"I said **go away** , Ice King. I just… I can't right now."

"Hey, who says you have to do anything right now?" Ice King asked. "Just let me take care of you; how 'bout that, huh?" Ice King sat down next to Betty and put his arm around her shoulders. Even though she was acting like she was all mad or something, as soon as he did that, Betty curled right into him. Her glasses where kind of in the way though, so Ice King took them off and set them aside, and then Betty buried her face into his robe and started really crying.

"There, there, let it all out," Ice King said stroking her hair. "You'll feel better after a good cry. I mean, I never do, but I'm sure you will." He wasn't sure what else to say, so he just started humming to her instead.

After a minute Betty stopped crying so much and gave him a weird look. "Are you… are you humming the theme song to _Cheers_?"

"I don't know; it's just some old song. I've sung it to make myself feel better since… well, since a long time ago. Why, is there something wrong with it?" Ice King said.

Betty shook her head, then rested it back down on his shoulder again. "No. I think it's good. Hey Simon? It might be awhile before I finish your surprise. It turns out my breakthrough was a dud."

"Is that what all this is about? I don't really know what it is you're working on down here, but you're the smartest person I know, so I'm sure you'll get it figured out. But the only really important thing is that we're together," Ice King said.

"Right," Betty agreed and she started crying again, but this time she was smiling too. "I love you, Simon." And then Ice King got one of his favorite kisses after all.

"I love you too," Ice King said, then started humming again. They sat there for a long time, and Betty ended up falling asleep. Must've been all the crying, that always wore Ice King out. So he picked her up and went and got his crown so he could fly her upstairs to the bedroom.

"Don't you worry about a thing, princess. I'm going to be right here with you for forever and I'll take care you." Because thanks to Betty, for the first time since he couldn't remember when, Simon was happy.


End file.
